Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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