Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
