i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
