she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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