FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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