i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
