it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
