I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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