WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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