I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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