70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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