found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
