There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
