At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
