Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
