I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
