When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
