I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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