put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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