dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Fuck appropriateness.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
