so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You need Xanax blowdarts
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
