Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
