Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
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It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
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I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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