And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
