My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
