I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
