i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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