I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
