Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
