Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
