If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
