I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
