Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
