just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
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