she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
