margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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