I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
