Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
