Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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