It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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