I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
