who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
