He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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