David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
