For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
