listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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