Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she peed on how many people?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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