You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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