You work out of a Hotel?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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