Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
