I'm drive I can fine osifer
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just googled if crying burns calories
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
