her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
