u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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