remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
