VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
