my sisters under your porch take her home
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
