if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
