I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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