this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
