watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
