she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize